A Complete Makeover (from soda to juice)
A few kilometers from the airport, I can already play in my mind what my mom will tell us after arriving later than her time of arrival. But then maybe, I thought that with some explanation, she would then shift her frustration into excitement upon seeing us and finally being home. Yes, she was indeed furious… ok just a little bit, still trying to push that smile she usually had.
On our way home, I decided I’d like to take a record of things I hear from her. I am still clueless to her health status as of the moment and all I know that she feels pain in her bodies, has stopped treatment for cancer, and seemingly is in denial. Yet she firmly believes that the Lord will heal her completely… this made me begin to think, when do we stop saying the Lord will heal us and accept the truth, and until when do we hold on ignoring the things we need to face. As a counselor, I simply don’t know the answer. Maybe there’s no answer.
During the ride back home, we were talking about stuff like her teeth, her dentures, her hair, and how thin she has gotten. My mom told me, this time, she has a lot of fixing to do, referring to her physical appearance… then she said… “oh and I need a complete makeover… everything.” I smiled and joked about being like in reality tv shows about makeovers. And she smiled and nodded her head.
Deep inside I knew she meant more. And still I wonder…does that include a shift in her perspective over her illness? For each day, since she was diagnosed 2 years ago… all she said was that the Lord will heal her…completely. I wish it was as easy as those seen in reality TV. But everyone knows that going through the process is much more difficult than what we thought and it would be much harder done than being said.
Everyone will be experiencing great makeovers starting today. Aside from the general cleaning, we would have to check all things were in place, even the kitchen and the bathroom since my mom is a “clean and fix Maria.” Having lived in the US
That day of her arrival, we skipped the family meal in a good restaurant we usually do whenever we pick her up from the airport. That night, we immediately bought her day bed and her cabinet and other stuff that she would need. Everything seemed to turn in my head and I’m having mixed emotions. I would be having a mom for real now. But how long I don’t know, everything would change this time I know. Our lifestyle, my schedules… everything.
Today is the beginning of a major makeover for us.
I know the transition would be hard. It is like having had soda all your life and then suddenly saying goodbye to it and shifting to carrot juice instead. It is a healthy change! But reality says that it won’t be easy… the process is hard… and there’s squeezing to be done.
That inspired me to entitle this part of my life as carrot juice. For one to be able to make a good and healthy carrot juice, you’d go through a patient process. Let me tell you why you’re patience would be tested. There’s the peeling of the carrots, the slicing, and then juicing it. That sounds easy especially if you know your way around the kitchen. For me, the patience-testing part comes whenever I use the juicer. Even if you’ve got the top-of-the-line juicer, you’d have to put the parts, clean, wipe and dry the juicer. You’d even have to put the slices of carrots one by one just to get the juice and then preserve the carrot hash and later on make it into a cake maybe. Making carrot juice each night for my mom gave me lessons in itself. I learned how to pick the right carrots that would give me more juice and I would compare prices from groceries and markets.
This part of my life was just like that. I had to get the best lessons and blessings there could be and use it for my own growth. The carrot juice process tests patience, teaches lessons and produces a healthy juice for good health.
Lots have been written about women, about moms and about daughters and even about cancer patients. But a few are only written about pains, lessons, blessings and beauty in having the opportunity to care for your mom and the wonderful mother-daughter relationship despite distance, misunderstandings and illness. To be finally being with my mom after 17 long years is a story I would like to share to my future kids. Playing back this story in my mind will help me remember that there is a God up there who watches and never forgets. A God who sees sacrifice, and a God who never fails even if we don’t understand and even when we hurt.
The process of the carrot juice squeezed so much in me but I believe it was healthy for me.
